...of a girl who misses her first love.

Let me get this straight first of all - I don't miss my first love, but yet the fun that came with having a first love. Or maybe I do miss my first love. Who knows. All I know is that while I was sitting in my "relaxed pose" at my first yoga class tonight, I could only think of weird first love memories. The instructor told her class to think back to a happy time in our lives and my first thought was the drive-in theater when I was a sophomore in high school with my first love in the backseat....

I'm not a typically lonely or needy person. I don't always have to be in a relationship. In fact, rarely am I in a relationship. Nor do I go on dates. Maybe if I were skinnier I'd be more apt to go on dates...who knows. But in all reality, I do kind of miss the excitement of my first love. My other loves weren't near as exciting. They were the same old kissing leads to touching leads to... well you get the picture. But with the first love, everything was shiny and new. Neither of us had experienced any kind of mental or physical relationship like us before.

My first love is getting married next June and I've been having a lot of reflective thoughts about him. "Could that have been me?" "Should that have been me?" "Holy shit, what if that was me?"

I know that things happen for a reason. And we're not together for a very specific reason. God may never give me something as amazing as a "first love," but hopefully he'll give me true love. Someday. In the long-distance future.

For now - dating? hermm....we'll see about that...